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OMG,OMG,OMG... massive mistake here


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I don't know what I'm going to do... I kept records with all my waxes, fo's formulations, those that worked and those that didn't, every wrinkle in a cat's ass was in that binder!

Dh threw it out thinking it wasn't anything important! OMG what am I going to do!?!?! Every candle that was named and successfully sold was in that book! I have no idea how to mix most of the formulations that were made this past year.

I can deal with the rewicking...but the fo combinations to get "Aunt Sandra's Hot Toddy" or "Compass Harbor" ( which a client came in asking for and I couldn't make it). The were made ages ago...I can't even begin to remember what I mixed to get them.

I'm close to tears at this point... there is just nothing I can do to recoup those lost formulations. What the Hell possessed him to think I needed him even looking at my candle room??? I told him if it were Monday I would have been down to the court house.... as it is, I said he'd have to close his eyes at some point. *Trying to maintain some sort of sense of humor...but I'm almost at my wits end*

Kim

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I'm really having difficulty understanding this. How does something like that sitting in a candle workshop look unimportant?

I would suggest divorce and a lawsuit to recover damages. But maybe he has some redeeming qualities you haven't mentioned. You may have married for looks or skills in the sack rather than brains. ;)

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*faint* :eek::shocked2::(:sad2:

Calm down and when this passes, think about it a little then. It all might just come back to you.

I'm so sorry to hear this happened. It's got to be a terrible feeling too. Maybe you should buy a safe or lock box to keep your notes in so this can never happen again.

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ugh, I can't even imagine. I think the idea of just letting it settle for a few days and getting over your "mad" and it might just come back to you. I wish you the best of luck.

How about starting a new one that says..... "Candle Formulas DO NOT THROW OUT THIS MEANS YOU" on the front of the binder.

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Wow! Does the 'd' in dh stand for dumb??? I would be so furious. I can't even imagine. All the hard work that goes into making a great candle gone:shocked2: :sad2: But the up side could be good. Maybe some new candle items you've been wanting to try? Or perhaps some sparkling new jewelry?

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I've been combing through the candle room and I've found little things here and there written on pieces of paper. I'm looking for the notepads I used to scrawl on when I was pouring...I'd use them to quickly write stuff down on and then transfer. Problem is once everything was transfered, I usually threw them out.

DH is trying to be helpful.... he's been standing in the door way asking if he can come in... so far the answers been a very firm NO.

Top, I'm certain there are some redeeming qualities somewhere in that man and as soon as I'm not quite so mad and I've pulled myself together, I'm sure they'll come to mind... as for right this moment, I see red everytime he comes to the door asking to help.

I asked him what the Hell he was thinking and he said to me, " I'm a man... obviously I wasn't thinking." Made me laugh just a bit.

I keep telling myself it'll be fine, it'll be fine and I guess I need to just deal with the fact that I'm going to have to come up with new formulations.

He keeps saying that he promises that he'll never touch anything again in that room and I asked him if that was like the promise not to wash my suits and he washed a dove grey suit that I liked to wear to meetings...by the time he was done, the beautiful dove grey suit could have fit Barbie.

I must be calming down because I'm not so Hell bent on killing him and I'm starting to focus more picking up the pieces and starting over.

Kim

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I am so sorry. That would really freak me out and I might just be in jail by now. There is nothing you can do.....except rely on your brain to help you remember some things. Maybe you will learn something new because of this event.....that seems to be the way life goes....you know....when one door closes another one opens. (just hit THAT wise person over the head with a book)... May not be what you had in mind but none the less......it is the merry-go-round of life that we are riding. In order to move back to California and change my life, I left over 90% of my candle making equipment and formulas etc. etc. etc. behind. Sometimes I wake up at night and cry. I hoped that someone in my family might just ask me what was important and send me those items. I got some stuff, but what in the world do I need with a dozen 2 foot custom made star molds? I asked for just one large one medium and one small. Nope.......they couldn't figure that one out. I lost thousands of molds. I am trying my best to make candles but it isn't a full time business anymore so I am learning to cope. It has been a year and a half and I am still not over it. My husband throws out the mail before I get to look at it. He throws out things that are important to me. He doesn't even bother to ask....just puts them in the garbage. Like the new registration for our post office box.....just plain stupid. Not to mention a sale catalog with the most darling shoes for summer for 60% off......stupid I tell you. (smile):smiley2::smiley2: :smiley2: .....And.....when he goes into my purse looking for the checkbook or something......makes my skin crawl. It is my personal little place. I would freak if I ever saw him in my candle studio because I would know that something bad was going to happen or already did. I don't know how your husband can ever explain what he did....it's not just a guy thing.....is he on too many meds? (smile):smiley2: :smiley2: :smiley2: ..... Valentine's Day is approaching and there are these stores that sell diamonds........for this very reason.......Hope you feel better soon and get back to business. Sorry.......Donita

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Jeez even my 4 yr old daughter knows not to touch my folders or any of my other candle stuff & that is always out seeing as I'm working from my kitchen & dining room.

It sounds like he was trying to help but that is just the kind of help you could have done without.

Tell him he is NEVER to enter your lair again without you being there to see what he's doing, failing that get yourself a little security camera so you can film him getting up to no good :rolleyes2 & then take it to your divorce lawyer...lol.

I hope he does something really wonderful for you to make up for it....like paying to get your custom blends tested so you can get your formulas back.

Sally.

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It will take time and effort but there is a chance you can get your folder back. Did he throw it out in your weekly pick up? If so, call the company that does the garbage pick up. Find out the date and time they take it to the dump. If they haven't yet, then go to the plant.

And yep, do some dumpster diving. No it's not pretty, but if it's that important it CAN be done.

Please please don't ask me how I know this!:tiptoe:

LOL :)

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*...shaking head in utter disbelief and sympathy...*

I would KILL him until he DIES from it!!!

I'm speechless! All I can think of are things like choking someone to death with my bare hands... Even SHOOTING him wouldn't be good enough...

A man's GOT to know his limitations...:tiptoe:

You get BIGTIME REAL KARMA POINTS for not committing husbandicide!!! I KNOW the jury would let you off...:laugh2:

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That just royally sucks big time! :awww: I see the initial panic is over now though and the recovering process is beginning. I can't imagine how it feels to lose so much. I lost my notebook, through my own fault though during my year hiatus trying to recover my sanity :( But it was just wicking and wax formulas. It's awful to me, but nothing like you. It seems tough, BUT your did it once, you CAN do it again :yes: Keep your chin up!

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Here's a suggestion... you know when you read those stories in the news of people who threw their engagement ring out.. or threw out a winning lottery ticket.. and they go to the dump and sift through the garbage to find it?

Get him on it!

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2 others have beaten me to it ... but I'd send his butt to the dump & tell him not to come home till he had it! Seriously, the 'waste management' company is required to keep records & can give you a specific grid area for the location of all trash from the truck that runs your route. Since this just happened, it should at least be close to the top of the pile. Forgive & forget would be VERY low on my list of options right now. I really feel for you!

Susan

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This only seems to get worse the longer his mouth continues to open and close. He fess up that the binder didn't "exactly" go into the trash.

Since we have been building a new salon on the property, we have dump pile that gets burned every so often. It seems that the binder has ended up in the burn pile... along with all the wax that was being saved to use for firestarters. He said the wax made for a WICKED fire. If I wasn't so beside myself, I think I could actually see humor in that.

So much for calling the transfer station and seeing if I could recoup my binder. I really didn't think it was possible for me to be more upset than I already was. At least before I hope of getting it back.

The new salon is going to be done in a few weeks and there is a room out there that the candle business will be moved into... those damn doors to that salon are going to be locked when I'm not there. That will be one way of keeping his ass outta my business!

Kim

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We also had an understanding that his new bedroom is out in the livingroom until I've cooled off. I've been known to stay mad for LONG periods of time.

Jeeeez.... I thought I had him trained better than that. We haven't even been married a year yet and I was ready to kill him!

Kim

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OMG, my heart goes out to you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If it were my DH... he'd be sleeping outside, in the cold, with the skunks, and porcupines that rome around our place, not on the sofa in the livingroom!!!

I was going to suggest the same as others.... send him to the dump... that is until I read where the folder went!

Hopefully once you've calmed down, some of those recipes will come back to you!!

Many hugs are being sent your way!!!!

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I just don't know what I'm going to do...I just don't even know where to begin with this mess.

I had a whole line if candles who's names and scents reflected the island I grew up on... I had a line of candles that were representative of family members... all of them were combinations of fo's and then the candles were renamed.

I just can't begin to express how overwhelmed I am right now. I just don't know how to pick up the pieces without starting completely over and basically come up with new combinations.

I've torn the candle room apart and while I've found little bits of stuff... it's of course not the stuff I truly need in my hands right now.

I can't stay mad at DH because being this angry at him isn't helping this mess. All it's doing now is making things very hard for both of us.

*Taking a REALLY deep breath* Starting tomorrow... bright and early... it's off to the candle room and I'll just have to begin again whether I want to or not.

Right???

Kim

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Oh man oh man. I feel you right there. I keep notes in a notebook and in a little 3x5 cardholder. If someone tossed those, I'd be in the same situation. Same with my soap notes-- in a tattered girlie looking journal. You'd think they'd be in something way more "high tech" but no. I can totally see how something like that can happen. There's no way you could recall that all either.

The firestarter thing really just throws some salt on the wound, eh? :rolleyes2

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I'm so sorry.... Have him send you to a hypnotist who can help you recall everything that was written.... If he complains about the cost, tell him it's cheaper than having to retest everything....

Hope your today is better than your yesterday.

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ouch i just shivered cause I couldn't even imangine. But maybe something good will come out of this, like while you are re testing your FO solutions you run across the best thing that you have been striving for....you never know it can happen. try to find a positive with this or the negative may eat you up ;)

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