website critique

[amillion3147]

I am about to start giving some of my local customers my web address but wanted to have some folks give it some criticism. I am particuarly interested in the verbage on the site. It's not completed as in adding text but wanted to be sure I am on the righ path. Thanks

http://southernpleasuresbathandbody.com/store/Default.asp

[jdscreations]

I think it looks beautiful. I did not read through the whole thing, but it is really easy to get around and I love your pictures.

[Luci]

Wow! Your opening page is beautiful. I found the site to be easily navigated with lots of information.

BTW--my brother graduation from Davidson many years ago. I used to love to visit there. The town is beautiful.

[amillion3147]

Yes Davidson is a cool little town. I am within walking distance to davidson college. Expensive as hell but a good school.

Thanks for the honest criticism. I have to give credit where it is due though to Jennifer Strumble at River Street designs I mean flying orange web design. She captured what I wanted vividly.

[prairieannie]

Since you were particularly interested in the verbage I wanted to point out that you use "About Us" and "Our Story" however, when you click on our story you go on to say that the company is owned and operated by yourself, suggesting that there is no US or OUR.

Also in that same paragraph:

I started this company out of my love for making cold process soaps and the high level of creativity you could obtain.

I might change that to say: I started this company out of my love for making cold process soaps and the high level of creativity that I was able to obtain.

In the FAQ section:

In the first paragraph you say:

Commercially produced soap is made with a lot synthetic ingredients that strip your skin of it's natural oils.

You might put the word *of* after lot and before synthetic.

In the next sentence glycerin is spelled glycerine.

And then changed again directly after that.

I quit going through it with a fine tooth comb LOL, but I did notice again in your FAQ section that you use the word WE and US a lot. You may just want to change your "Our Story" section so that it all meshes?? Just a few suggestions.

I think your site is very easy to navigate, and it looks great! Good Job!

[mslegacy]

Wow, wonderful site! Very clean and professional. There was an image missing on your soap page, I want to say it was for a chocolate one? It was in the first row, upper right corner. The wording was good, clear and concise, and I agree with prairieannie. Congrats, and good luck on your venture!

[P&V]

Your site is very pretty. I really like your background and layout.

On your opening page - In your second paragraph, you used the word little twice in the last sentence. Maybe just drop the first one all together?

On your about us page - It looks as though you have a second person writing it and then you say myself. It just doesn't flow to me.

On your ing. page - I think you need commas before and after the consumer. I'm not positive though, I'm guilty of over using them.

On your faq page - Again it still doesn't seem to flow the right way. The word precise is used twice in "how is soap made" and it feels like the information is repetitve.

On your info page - On the return part you have "products and to maintain" and I think it should say "products and in order to maintain".

I'm not sure if you know it but when you write something you should read it aloud. It'll help you find errors.

HTH

BTW, your soaps are beautiful.

[Angel91805]

OK...here goes...I didn't check to see if anyone already brought attention to these....

page one...last sentence should read a little taste of life's little luxuries.

Ingredients page..there is no information about Milk Powder. That kills the continuity. Either remove milk powder or add it's description.

And what everyone else said! Nice pics and easy to navigate.

Donna

[BLSoaps]

The website has a very calm and soothing feel to it that I really like.

I know already I'm not up for 'editing' any text, not this weekend, but one of the things I noticed was how your soap pictures didn't line up. Basically, when you mix the landscape and portrait styles (camera held normal, and then turned on it's side), they make your lines uneven. This is a pet peeve issue for me....just ask my own web designer. Unfortunately, when I find it on other people's websites, to me, it screams home-made website. It's not super obvious on your website, I think mostly because the photos are smaller and have the whitish backgrounds.

There are two easy ways to fix this. One, redo photos, and make sure you keep the camera facing the same way for all of them. Two (this is what I did), use a photo editing program, and crop them all into squares. It doesn't matter then if it was taken with a portrait or landscape view. If that doesn't get your photos to line up, then go talk to your designer, cuz it means something is off in your layout design.

Okay, I've dug a bit further....

Some of your soaps have scent descriptions, and others don't. I'd make sure you get them written up soon. And typically, more ad copy is better than less. As long as you don't just end up rambling. Most people are stuck in the mind frame of getting it written up quickly and concisely. Well, before the internet, and websites, all ad space cost money (billboards, magazine ads, etc), and that space was limited. So they had to be short and to the point. With websites, you need to factor in as many of the questions that your customer will have about your product. I think you've done well with including the ingredients. I've always felt strongly about including them. But think about what kinds of questions people ask you about your products. Then find a way to incorporate this into your text.

A lot of people say 'but people won't read through all that!', and you're right. Most of the people who visit your site won't read it all, and they won't order. It's a sad fact. But if you're converting 2% of your unique visitors into sales, you're doing awesome! Trust me, it's a lot harder than it sounds. So most of the people that come to your site, well, they're tire-kickers. They'll come, poke around, but really have no intention of buying anything. Those people will NOT read all your sales text. But they're not the people you're writing for. It's the people who are seriously looking. But if you don't answer all their questions IN your ad text, they may not buy because they're still unsure about you, or your product. The chances of them e-mailing you to ask their questions, well, it's unlikely as well. So longer ad-copy, answering some of these unspoken questions, the people who are truly interested in purchasing, they WILL read the entire copy, and then hopefully, they'll go on to actually purchase as well.

If you don't have anything in your gift set section, you should probably remove it until you can add something. Probably the same thing with your ingredient list. If you don't have a description yet, just leave it off for now. It makes it look incomplete. And even though it is (and websites are never ending), it's not really a good idea to advertise it! LOL!

FAQ - when talking about lye, you mispelled a word... "It is a necessary **component**"

I found it very hypocritical that you will not SHIP to a PO Box, however, you ONLY provide a PO Box for them to send mail/checks/money orders/etc to YOU. I'm guessing you don't want to ship to PO Boxes because of the higher possibility of scams. Well, sweetie, they're gonna think the same thing of you... Had I been a customer, and read through the pages like I just did (read the info page, and then the contact us page), I would have left without placing an order. At the best, it screams hypocritical, and the worst it sounds like a scam. Since we know it's not the latter, and you don't want to sound like the former, you'll need to figure out what to change. But I feel strongly, one of them needs to.

Okay, I ended up a lot more long winded than I ever intended. I'm slowly recovering from the flu, and my energy is slowly picking back up.

Good luck with the website! It's looking great so far!!!

[so-soy]

amillion...I think your off to a great start! Love the home page and the background on there! Very soothing.

[bwc]

In the FAQ section:

In the first paragraph you say:

Commercially produced soap is made with a lot synthetic ingredients that strip your skin of it's natural oils.

You might put the word *of* after lot and before synthetic.

It's should be its. It's = it is. You don't want say "strip your skin of it is natural oils."

This is a common mistake, just like your for you're, their for there, would of for would have, to for two or too, etc.

HTH

[prairieannie]

It's should be its. It's = it is. You don't want say "strip your skin of it is natural oils."

This is a common mistake, just like your for you're, their for there, would of for would have, to for two or too, etc.

HTH

LOL, yep a common mistake and I totally know better! Thanks bwc

[amillion3147]

Thanks for the heads up to everyone who responded. Like I mentioned this site is not complete with pictures, text etc. If stuff is blatantly missing or sounds off is because I have not gone through it with a fine tooth comb myself. It still is a work in progress.

[bwc]

LOL, yep a common mistake and I totally know better! Thanks bwc

I'm sorry, I was just adding to what you said, not criticizing you! There are lots of places on that web site where that mistake shows up.

How is it that we can always see other peoples' mistakes and not our own? When I finally go into business, I will have my friend (an English major) go over everything with a fine tooth comb!

[Ring of Fire]

Thanks for the heads up to everyone who responded. Like I mentioned this site is not complete with pictures, text etc. If stuff is blatantly missing or sounds off is because I have not gone through it with a fine tooth comb myself. It still is a work in progress.

Your site is just beautiful. A few MINOR errors, nothing that won't take a minute to fix.

[amillion3147]

Believe it or not but I had someone get a hold of my link three weeks ago(they were smart to google it) Low and behold they placed an order. Mind you text was missing, half of the pictures did not exsist and they still ordered.

It makes me wonder if people really do read what is on websites in the first place. Most if anything I feel just look at the pictures.

[TwinMom]

I love your opening page, as soon as your site opened it was inviting. I like that it is very easy to get around, nice job!

[MissMary]

Beautiful page! I think it's absolutely great! The others made some good suggestions, but I would personally make a few changes.

We are committed to creating products that are combined with luxurious ingredients that pamper your body, while calming your soul. You are invited to try our selection of handcrafted soaps, bath truffles and more.

I would change committed to dedicated. Dedicated seems stronger to me, and I'd change the wording that follows somehow, just doesn't quite... I don't honestly know, stand out I guess.

This is how I'd rewrite it:

We are dedicated to creating products that are combined with luxurious ingredients to indulge your body, while relaxing (soothing? mesmerizing?) your soul. We extend our warmest invitation to try our selection of pampering bath truffles, handcrafted soaps and more.

Maybe a tweak or two, but seems to be a strong statement, that enforces that vibe I think you are trying to give.

Also, something I've noticed with my own soaps, and you might want to add - this is a totally subjective opinion - but add the type of soap in the description names.

Instead of #9 Coconut & Lime - maybe try Coconut & Lime w/ Shea Butter, or something like that, that shows that pampering Shea Butter in the title.

[amillion3147]

Beautiful page! I think it's absolutely great! The others made some good suggestions, but I would personally make a few changes.

I would change committed to dedicated. Dedicated seems stronger to me, and I'd change the wording that follows somehow, just doesn't quite... I don't honestly know, stand out I guess.

This is how I'd rewrite it:

We are dedicated to creating products that are combined with luxurious ingredients to indulge your body, while relaxing (soothing? mesmerizing?) your soul. We extend our warmest invitation to try our selection of pampering bath truffles, handcrafted soaps and more.

Maybe a tweak or two, but seems to be a strong statement, that enforces that vibe I think you are trying to give.

Also, something I've noticed with my own soaps, and you might want to add - this is a totally subjective opinion - but add the type of soap in the description names.

Instead of #9 Coconut & Lime - maybe try Coconut & Lime w/ Shea Butter, or something like that, that shows that pampering Shea Butter in the title.

Great Ideas here. I didn't even think of doing that:)

[mizbizzyb]

Nice site!!

[Candle Man]

Great clean site & great photos.

I did see this...

Try our version of B&BW's popular Love Spell scent.

That is not a B&BW's scent it is VS's Victoria's Secret. http://www2.victoriassecret.com/collection/sort/?cgnbr=&basecgnbr=OSFRGZZZZZZ&bn=VSGARDEN&sbb=true&rfnbr=2671

[Ramaroa]

You're off to a great start, and it helps to have such lovely products and photographs. There are, as others have said, quite a lot of typos, missing spaces after fullstops and so on, but you can easily fix those. The easiest way is to copy and paste your text into Word or whatever application you use and run a spelling and grammar check. It saves a lot of headaches to do all your edits in word and paste it back.

[Sara]

Your site is very nice. Calm and soothing, the colors blend nicely. The only thing, looking at the bigger picture, is there is an empty column down the right side. Maybe centering (so there is space on both sides) or making the table a little wider to fill up some of the gap.

But all in all, it is really nice. Beautiful soaps, too.

[bwc]

You're off to a great start, and it helps to have such lovely products and photographs. There are, as others have said, quite a lot of typos, missing spaces after fullstops and so on, but you can easily fix those. The easiest way is to copy and paste your text into Word or whatever application you use and run a spelling and grammar check. It saves a lot of headaches to do all your edits in word and paste it back.

OMG, don't use Word for grammar, it's horrible! I only use it to check for sentences where I've put one space after a period instead of two and to look for missed commas in a series. That's about all it is good for.

[HeavenScentU]

I love the waterfall scene. Your website looks very tranquil and pleasant. Great job.