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CaliZona

By CaliZona
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Kelly Newbie

Kelly

Posted
Posted

Very nice. All the pictures work, all the links work, good color scheme (although I'm not sure about the "sun" background image - a little distracting to me). Easy to read/follow layout. Each page within in the site matches the next (consistancy is key!) :)

All-in-all very good work! Did you do it yourself or did you hire a web designer? Also, I like your cart, did you program it yourself or did you purchase an already made cart out there?

Great work!! :D

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CaliZona Newbie

CaliZona

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Thank you Kelly! Yes, I did it myself. I should say I'm still doing it myself, the changes never seem to end. The "sun" is a theme I've got going on. I tried to make it subtle. The Shopping cart is included with the web site builder.

Thanks again.

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Kelly Newbie

Kelly

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Oh the sun is fine, don't get me wrong, it's just I have bad eyes and for whatever reason the wiggly sun rays distract me. I'm sure no one else will have any trouble with it!

Very impressive for doing it yourself too I must say! :)

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Scented Apprentice

Scented

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Two things on a quick glance ...

Something is missing from here (as in incomplete sentence unless I'm reading it wrong):

We believe making all our products with the freshest and highest quality ingredients and providing prompt courteous service.

Shouldn't that be something like:

We believe in making our products with fresh, high-quality ingredients and providing prompt courteous service.

And why is Soy's possessive? I kept asking myself Soy's what.

More skipping around (from the scent description page):

Please Note: We are not a distributor or affiliated with philosophy, Victoria Secret, Bath & Body Works, Aquolina or any other manufacturing company. All of the following designer fragrances are "OUR VERSION" and are similar to said fragrances. This is why they are marked "type" and the scents have been re-named.

Philosophy (capitalize the P)

I believe it's renamed, not re-named.

Just going to add, if you want people to note it, why is the print so small? I'm only in my 40s and I can hardly read that. Have you thought about it being bigger? Obviously it's an important statement for you to make, since it's at the top of your page.

Adding also, I don't know that calling them a manufacturing company is correct is it?

From About your soap:

Terribly long introductory paragraph. Perhaps split it up into separate graphs? Tighten your writing?

From that I saw this: A well cured soap, will last longer and will give you more bubbles and a richer lather.

If you're going to use well cured ... it should be hyphenated and remove the comma after soap. I'd rework richer lather.

Maybe:

A well-cured soap will last longer, produce more bubbles and a rich lather.

Dang one more thing ... in looking at your scents ... there's a VS scent called Pink ... I realize you put Pink Sugar type next to it, but in my head I'm still thinking VS. It could just be the hour and my need to sleep.

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Scented Apprentice

Scented

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I'm not picking ... but I was reading your scent list ...

That bakery section makes my teeth hurt with so many mentions of sweet ;) Sugar is sweet isn't it? Just thinking you could switch out some of the sweet with some other words or do away with sweet in some instances.

On Oatmeal, Milk and Honey, do you want to say "... heart of milk, grain not too much almond"?

What about whatever for the milk part (not a milk fan so I couldn't describe it if I had to), oatmeal and a hint of almond.

The reason I say that about grain, is it makes me think gritty or kernels or animal feed.

It's me again, Margaret ... (couldn't resist)

Still on the scent page ...

Lemon Verbena: A spunky lemon and floral verbena combines in this uplifting delight. The scent begins with a tangy lime grapefruit and lemon with the combination of lavender, geranium rose, lemongrass and a soft woodsy musk.

You need a comma between lime and grapefruit.

If it begins, what does it end with?

Lord where is the resizing of type tool lol!

Lemongrass Sage: Fresh tart lemongrass with just a hint of sage.

(comma after fresh)

Skip what I said about capitalizing the p on philosophy. My bad.

Back to scents:

Glo is a soft, sexy, scent touched with subtle, clean freshness. A blend of sandalwood, mandarin, vanilla, musk and neroli with hints of lemon, jasmine, lavender, bergamot.

You can take out the comma after sexy and subtle.

Pink: A playful soft women's fragrance with the sweetness of sugar, cotton candy, vanilla, musk and a light floral. Our Version of Pink Sugar Aquolina'sTM type scent.

(Lower case V on version)

Pure: This is a clean soft, blend with fresh blossoms of bergamot, water lily, lavender, and jasmine, and cool greens laced with sensual a frosty musk. Our version of Pure Grace philosophyTM type scent.

(Comma after clean instead of soft ... wit a sensual, frosty musk ... Now what's a frosty musk? Could you just say laced with a sensual musk?

I'm stopping and looking at pictures lol! Your soaps are gorgeous!

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CaliZona Newbie

CaliZona

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WOW Scented! I thank you for your help. You know, I've looked at it over and over again and I just don't see the errors anymore, till someone points them out to me. Thank you for the compliment on my soaps. I'm not much of typist, but I can make soap!

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GirlWithTheCurl Newbie

GirlWithTheCurl

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Just took a quick look......

I'm seeing fabulous photos of gorgeous products as I click around on your site, but your Home page in no way reflects what lies beyond.

My suggestion; no frame, ditto for the plant.....no props, only products. Stack those incredible swirled soaps, grab handfuls of your other products, get in close, play with depth of field...strut your stuff girl!

Why is "citymax" part of your domain name? You have to properly "title" your first page....my browser is showing:

http://www.scentsandsoys.citymax.com/page/page/4519303.htm

"Soy's"......why the apostrophe?

WOW Scented! I thank you for your help. You know, I've looked at it over and over again and I just don't see the errors anymore, till someone points them out to me. Thank you for the compliment on my soaps. I'm not much of typist, but I can make soap!

You sure can! Gorgeous!!!!! :bow:

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Ramaroa Newbie

Ramaroa

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Products are indeed gorgeous and yes I would get more of them on your front page. It is very hard to see the wood for the trees when you are frantically trying to get stuff loaded, but you really should take some quiet time to have a really good read and iron out the typos.

I didn't have time to read much, but picked quite a few things out:

In your soap ingredients page:

Rice Bran oil is highis antioxidant

Shea Butter: Is extremely therapeutic, helping to heal cracked, aged and damaged skin as well as help to protect the skin against the damaging effects of the sun while repairing cellular degeneration.

I would re-work this rather long sentence and either break it up or add some punctuation. I'd also change help to helping and while to whilst.

Sweet Almond Oil: A great emollient for softening and conditioning the skin. It is well suited for eczema, psoriasis, and itchy, dry and irritated skin

You need to lose one of the ands - perhaps change the second and to or. Also you dont need the comma after psoriasis.

I think I'll stop now, but this one needs some work too:

After this 24 hours the process is completed there is no lye left in the soap.

Okay, sorry one more:

Olive Oil Glycerin Soap ingredients:

Made with 20% kosher grade A extra virgin olive oil. Olive oil is known for it's moisturizing properties and produces a great lather. Due to the high amount of of olive oil, a light attractive pale yellow color may be noticeable which will darken slightly in time. Ingredients: Olive Oil, Palm Oil, Castor Oil, Safflower Oil, Glycerin (kosher, of vegetable origin), Purified Water, Sodium Hydroxide (saponifying agent), Sorbitol (moisturizer), Sorbitan Oleate (emulsifier), Soybean Protein and (conditioner).

Keep at it, you will get there!

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Scented Apprentice

Scented

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It's me again Margaret ... ok just some fun to listen to:

But, it's me again ...

Yeah boost that front page. Too much inside your space that could be used to affectively make people drool and wanna buy and come inside if you'd use some to entice them. KWIM?

I'm going to pick through ...

Things I thought about ... high and quality don't need to be used together. If it's quality, what makes it high or better quality. Of course you're not going to say we use poor quality, so quality can stand effectively alone.

About Our Soap (since it's just too long to me.)

Fresh, quality ingredients are used in each beautifully crafted bar. We use a combination of 8-12 oils to produce a gentle cleansing, moisturizing and conditioning bar rich in bubbles and lather.

The fragrances and essential oils we use are skin safe.

Each cured bar of soap has a unique appearance.

Our soaps are 100% vegetable based and free of detergents and preservatives. Each bar retains its natural glycerine.

To extend the life of your bars, keep them out of direct shower spray and sitting water.

Etc.

You can flower that up some as my mind is fogged over with the scent of amber.

I like the breakdown of the oils, but Avocado's opening sentence is way too long.

Babassu oil ... produces rich, bubbly lather.

Castor oil ... Produces a rich, stable ...

(And I'm interjecting here ... the reader may nod off with so many sentences starting ... produces or produces a ... can you change it up ... if you numb the reader they absorb less.)

Distilled water ... well I'm thinking obviously you use it ... maybe instead say why as opposed to we use it.

In this section:

Essential Oils: Our essential oils in our soaps and bath & body products are of the highest quality and are body safe.

Fragrance Oils: All our fragrance oils in our soaps and bath & body products are of the highest quality and are body safe.

(You've already said it ... do you really think you need to repeat it? And again ... axe highest if you keep it ... btw ... maybe skin safe instead of body safe. It just sounds better to me, but maybe not to you.)

Space needed between Grapeseed and honey ...

On grapeseed ... fatty acids, which ...

Macadamia ... Ummm I'm tongue tripping over all the skin uses. Maybe:

Aids in moisture retention and is great for dry skin ... or some such.

Milk powders ... ok ... why list them and not explain why you chose those if you're educating about the other ingredients?

Natural herbs & botanicals etc ... change adding to add and you could take off to our soaps.

Olive Oil ... especially mature, inflamed or dry skin. It provides ... anti-wrinkle and healing properties.

Palm Oil ... it too is related to the coconut family isn't it? You mention relation on babassu, so thought maybe you might want the connection with palm.

Rice Bran Oil ... Softens and moisturizes. Good oil for those who have sensitive, mature or delicate skin. Rice Bran Oil is rich in vitamin E and minerals.

Shea butter ... is considered to be ... (All butters have these properties, no? but I know here, we can't make a claim unless we have a doctorate.) It aids in ...

Sunflower Oil ... ummm this reads like it will mature my skin and I don't want that.

It is said to help to moisturize, mature, sensitive, dry damaged skin

Maybe change to It is said to help moisturize sensitive, dry, damaged mature skin ???

Sodium Hydroxide: After 24 hours, the process is completed there is no lye left in the soap (awkward) Maybe, No lye is left after the saponification process ...

Tussah silk ... spun in long, hair-like strands ...

I'd axe the but we think we ... cuz you know you have found lol ... Just say it adds a silky, smooth texture to your soaps.

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CaliZona Newbie

CaliZona

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Man, she's got my eyes going all buggy, but she has helped me more than I can say. I'm so exhausted, I was up till 2 am making changes and back on at 7 am this morning and I'm still at it! Everyone has been wonderful! Thank you all.

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CaliZona Newbie

CaliZona

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I posted a couple new pic on my home page. I will take some better pics this weekend. I'm fried right now. Don't you think they need something in the background? Maybe you have some ideas for me. By the way, my camera is a piece of crap, so taking close-up and clear pictures is nearly impossible. Gonna take a break for now. Thanks everyone.

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Toni S. Newbie

Toni S.

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Hey Cali

Just got done looking at your website and all I can say is "Gorgeous" on the soaps!!! Those are definitely some of the most beautiful soaps I've ever seen. You are definitely a moster at soapmaking. Being a "newbie" at CP soapmaking, I have not yet been able to master the swirling.

Good Luck with your new website.:wink2:

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Luci Newbie

Luci

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Posted

Your website is beautiful! I agree with the others about how lovely your soaps are--in fact, all of your products look great. Congratulations! I'm certain that you're proud.

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