gingerinarkansas Posted June 12, 2006 Share Posted June 12, 2006 I have been making candles for few years,first working for someone else that had a gift shop and now for myself. I don't have a salesperson personality, kinda shy around people I don't know so how do you present your product with this kind of disability. Sometimes I have panic/anxiety attacks just being around alot of people while shopping. I have sold to friends, coworkers and family. Some sales have been word of mouth. I have never had any complaints about my candles. I don't have a website but really not interested in one. Any suggestions on how to bring myself out of the shyness/panic attack mode (been this way for 50+ years) and get my product out to more people? Be gentle with me please.LoL Ginger Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Juliette Posted June 12, 2006 Share Posted June 12, 2006 Do you want to do craft shows? If so, my own experience has been that I just have to focus on my products. I enjoy making candles so when customers start asking questions I pretty much just stick to the facts that I know I'm confident in and try not to think about any other distractions. I hope that makes sense. Other than that - I force myself to say hello and smile and keep in mind that if someone doesn't respond, maybe they are just shy like me. It has gotten easier for me. I hope that helps. Good Luck! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gingerinarkansas Posted June 12, 2006 Author Share Posted June 12, 2006 I'm not sure I could do a craft show...people I don't know walking around just gives me that panic/anxiety attack feeling. Sometimes I can't say much or when I do, it comes out like I have mental problems. My husband keeps telling me to do something with the candles or get out. That's a pretty blunt comment and I have to do something. Ginger Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CountryGal Posted June 12, 2006 Share Posted June 12, 2006 Ginger, I feel your pain! I have a website and LOVE that, but I too would really like to get a local customer base but PANIC at the thought of approaching anyone. Someone suggested making a brochure and sending it to your prospect. I will be interested to see how this post is answered! Know you aren't alone! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spatreats4u Posted June 12, 2006 Share Posted June 12, 2006 i am very shy as well and dont take harsh comments well or direct comments i take to heart. i would say your best bet is a web site...easier to talk via email rather then person to person. or if you want to do a craft show invite a friend or family member to help you...sometimes just having that support is enough to get you through the first couple of interactions then you warm up a bit. ALso the more you do it the more at ease you will feel. another option is to "hire" a friend or family member w/ a bubbly personality or out going to get your word of mouth out locally. either pay them an hourly rate or perhaps offer free products as trade. hth (((hugs))) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gingerinarkansas Posted June 12, 2006 Author Share Posted June 12, 2006 I love making candles but maybe this isn't for me because someone has to sell them. At my old job, I just kept candles made up for her shop and all was great and wonderful....just me, melted wax and t.v. I was always sooo relaxed. But if I had to make a delivery to another business, I always felt so stupid...what if I mess up and make a mistake and yada,yada,yada. I not a stupid person, I have self confidence but not when it comes to something like this, I feel like I have 3 lips, 6 eyes and can't get it together.LOL I'd love to hear any other comments from people who have the same problem. I have heartburn just thinking about this. Ginger Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spatreats4u Posted June 12, 2006 Share Posted June 12, 2006 I love making candles but maybe this isn't for me because someone has to sell them. At my old job, I just kept candles made up for her shop and all was great and wonderful....just me, melted wax and t.v. I was always sooo relaxed. But if I had to make a delivery to another business, I always felt so stupid...what if I mess up and make a mistake and yada,yada,yada. I not a stupid person, I have self confidence but not when it comes to something like this, I feel like I have 3 lips, 6 eyes and can't get it together.LOL I'd love to hear any other comments from people who have the same problem. I have heartburn just thinking about this. Gingerok so i hope im not over stepping my boundries here however there is a name for this: social anxiety disorder...they also have medication for it. i would have a meeting with your Dr. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NattyCat Posted June 12, 2006 Share Posted June 12, 2006 do you have any friends who share the same interest in candlemaking? If you do have a friend who is interested, or even if you just have a good friend who knows how you are with crowds, take her to a craft show and let her be the "face" of your stall, whilst you stand back and answer your customers questions THROUGH your friend. That way, it will seem like you are talking to your friend about your candles, and not to a complete stranger and should lower your anxiety. Once you've been there for an hour or so, you'll find that if a customer is asking questions, you might join your friend in answering them - and this is because you won't feel like YOU are in the firing line, your friend can be your buffer, allowing you to retreat when you feel it is getting a little too much for you.Perhaps you may be nervous about your products selling - I think we all feel that way. All the time and effort that goes into our candles means that we have a great deal of pride in them and feel "pre-show" nerves just in case nobody feels the same way that we do about our products. Perhaps, your fear of your candles being snubbed may be outweighing your desire to show the world how creative you are and how wonderful your candles are. All you have to remember, is that candles are loved worldwide and people love nice smells, so your candles will be appreciated and admired. If you have a strong belief in your own product, and you have a friend who can be your voice whilst you relax and allow your anxiety to fade, then without even knowing it, you'll soon find that you're enjoying yourself, answering questions more often and showing the world how proud you are of the candles you've worked so hard on!Sorry if I've blabbed on, I'm not really experienced in motivational speeches but I too used to be shy so hope that what I've said helps in some way.Natasha Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hillary Posted June 12, 2006 Share Posted June 12, 2006 If you have found something you love then you have to find a way to make it work. I agree with Spatreats. Anxiety disorders are a dime a dozen these days. (Ask me how I know;) ) Learning how to cope with your particular fears and triggers are a great way to keep from flipping out. Again, been there. Sounds like craft shows may be a little too much for you right now, but maybe you could get a friend involved as Nattycat mentioned, or find a craft mall where you don't have to actually 'sell', just stock. The website idea sounds like a good way to avoid the social issue too. How ever you go about it just know you are one of many dealing with this kind of thing. I say that to be supportive, not to trivialize. Stick with candles if you are really into it. Don't let the anxiety dictate your choices. :highfive: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scent Cellar Posted June 13, 2006 Share Posted June 13, 2006 This may sound easier than it is but ... Step forward and take one step in the direction to overcome your fear. Make yourself stop & talk to one person that you don't know ... you will feel so good and in a short time you will overcome and conquer your fear. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gingerinarkansas Posted June 13, 2006 Author Share Posted June 13, 2006 Thanks everyone for your thoughts and comments. I appreciate any feedback you give. I had been to doctor last year and I do have SEVERE anxiety disorder but I am afraid of meds that are on the market today. I had the prescription filled and it's probably still in the cabinet.Today they are fine, tomorrow they are pulling them off the market because it causes? I just try to function without any help which is probably stupid...I could be leading a more productive life maybe if I took the meds. Thanks for the different ideas. I will sit down and really evaluate things. I have a daughter that works in optical sales and she could sell ice cubes to eskimos. She does alot of selling for me...may have to send her out on her day off to approach locals. Thanks again. Ginger Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lpoitras Posted June 13, 2006 Share Posted June 13, 2006 Ginger-I don't know if you want to get out there. I think you have to want to try before you can do anything about it. If you don't want to be out in the public a web site will work for you, and you can email businesses with your brochure/site but eventually you will have to at least have 1 business meeting with them to set up the order. But that would be one on one. I think a partner is an excellent idea unless you want to learn how to get out there. I do not have a social phobia so cannot relate to this but did have some major upheavals about 10 years ago that changed my perspective on EVERYTHING. I can only say this to you-there is much more to life than TV and candles. Meeting people who enjoy your product will really make your work worthwhile. That being said, there is help for social phobia now adays. You don't have to suffer with it. I chose to bring a partner aboard because I thought it would be too much work for 1 person as I already have 2 jobs and believe me it is nice to have someone with you when you do the craft shows. I get tired of talking to people sometimes and just need a break. Never mind the logistics of the table and productst. Maybe your husband would enjoy helping you, if not a friend would be a big assett. Good luck and let us know how it's going. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gingerinarkansas Posted June 13, 2006 Author Share Posted June 13, 2006 I'll think about trying the meds again. To clear things, I don't just make candles and watch t.v. I do have a productive life, not currently working but I do watch my grandson some and thinking about going back to work. Life is too short to cut off all communication with everyone. Thanks for all comments.You all have made good points. Ginger Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hillary Posted June 13, 2006 Share Posted June 13, 2006 Ginger, just in case you aren't aware, and I'm certainly no expert here, but there are many different types of medications available and if one has side effects another may not. There are also alternatives to medication. Maybe a little more research into the issue will help settle the candle dilema. I think facing these things head on is the best way to make progress. I wish you the best. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gingerinarkansas Posted June 13, 2006 Author Share Posted June 13, 2006 Thanks Hillery, I agree. Ginger Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crowded House Posted June 13, 2006 Share Posted June 13, 2006 I'm so sorry your husband wants you to "start selling or get out of it". Everybody needs a hobby! That just seems sort of mean.I don't know how well this would work for you but I have gotten an order or two by giving my candles to family members who work at desks in high traffic areas (office work like admin assistant). They leave the candles open on their desk (unlit, of course, most offices don't allow lit candles lol) and that way people can see how nice they are and how good they smell.No pressure from them and no pressure on you, either. Just the product selling itself. ETA: I have never done this, but I went to college with this lady and she built herself up a fairly decent business pretty quickly (and then sold it). It looks interesting and doesn't involve much talking at all.The Email Party Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gingerinarkansas Posted June 13, 2006 Author Share Posted June 13, 2006 Thanks Crowded, I am just going to sit and really think about things. Thanks for your advice. Things will work out one way or another. Life takes many turns and you just have to be ready for what it gives you. Ginger Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bugtussle Posted June 13, 2006 Share Posted June 13, 2006 Ginger, I have "Panic Attack Disorder" and a little depression. I have been taking PAXIL and small amounts of Xanex for 6 years. I am doing fine and my doctor doesn't want to change my medication because I am doing so well. I see the doctor 3 times a year. It really works and even though I am not a social type person, would rather stay home & make candles, I make myself do shows and call on customers. Selling is my least favorite thing. But I love creating candles and a little selling is OK. Good luck! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Candlewitch Posted June 13, 2006 Share Posted June 13, 2006 I think there is actually a anxiety problem in our society and I am not sure it was always this way but i see it everywhere. I dont know if its the water, the air, the food, but many have it. Its not your fault and it typically cannot be taken care of naturally. I am not a doctor but know that some depression drugs are also used for anxiety disorders and you will like yourself 1000% within a month and much more functional. You will typically die of natural causes before the meds do you in. Some may react to certain ones and that is why you go for routine check ups. Do not ignore it any longer for it will get worse and maybe stop you from doing anything at all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dixiegal Posted June 13, 2006 Share Posted June 13, 2006 I have hard time with the people part too do have someone close to you that is a people person and loves your candles? My dil does the selling part for me and I pay her a commission Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gingerinarkansas Posted June 13, 2006 Author Share Posted June 13, 2006 Depression and anxiety goes hand in hand with hypothyroidism which I have had for 45 years. I have just avoided the meds trying to control things myself(and I don't do that well). I will look into it sometime. Thanks for everyones thoughts and now we need to get back to thinking about candles. Ginger Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bunny Posted June 13, 2006 Share Posted June 13, 2006 I would absolutely "hire" your daughter on commission if she's avaliable. Give her brochures, samples, a few cases of candles and let her work her magic. If she's really too busy, do you have a friend that is needing a bit of extra cash? Same thing. I gave all my sales girls 20%. If they don't sell, they don't get paid. They even got me wholesale accounts, where I never had to utter a word to the owner. I provided the girls upon request and talking about the business my wholesale package. They got a bonus for landing the account, and and 10% commission from every sale as long as they were still actively selling for me. If there is anything I can do to help, please don't hesitate to ask! This is possible for you if you really want it! ((((HUGS!!)))) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dixiegal Posted June 13, 2006 Share Posted June 13, 2006 I would absolutely "hire" your daughter on commission if she's avaliable. Give her brochures, samples, a few cases of candles and let her work her magic. If she's really too busy, do you have a friend that is needing a bit of extra cash? Same thing. I gave all my sales girls 20%. If they don't sell, they don't get paid. They even got me wholesale accounts, where I never had to utter a word to the owner. I provided the girls upon request and talking about the business my wholesale package. They got a bonus for landing the account, and and 10% commission from every sale as long as they were still actively selling for me. If there is anything I can do to help, please don't hesitate to ask! This is possible for you if you really want it! ((((HUGS!!))))Gosh,looks like my ddil is going to get a raise,I feel so cheap Iv only been giving her 15%. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SaraScribbles Posted June 13, 2006 Share Posted June 13, 2006 Hey Ginger,I feel your pain! I get so toungetied and just want to hide under the bed.I do farmers markets and craft shows, (because I'm able to con my hubby into going with me ~ it's easier with him their).Even talking to people on the phone freaks me out. I had to call back the organizer of a Bluegrass Festival and got so nervous it sounded like I was speaking in tounges. On an up note though, my nervousness was a great icebreaker...Back in January, I had a few extra heart shapped candles and thought I'd bring them up to the flower shop here in town. Sat in my car for 1/2 hour trying to build up the courage to go inside and talk to the owner. The stupid thing.......the owner is my next door neighbor! Ok, I don't really know what to tell you, (which is probobly why I don't have wholesale accounts) but wanted to let you know that you are not alone in this in any way!Hugs to ya,Sara Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
andrealh1975 Posted June 13, 2006 Share Posted June 13, 2006 A few things I would suggest...Whenever you're giving a gift, give something from your product line. Especially if the person has never used one of your items before. If they like it, I'm sure they'll be a repeat customer and you won't really have to do much talking. Encourage your friends/family to have a "catalog show" for you to get some orders. And you may want to seriously look into getting a website. You may speak to someone via e-mail and want to tell them about your candles and what better way to include your website. Also, if you have a regular mail person or someone you deal w/ at the grocery store and you're used to talking to, why not let them know you make candles or give them a card or brochure. Hopefully, things will get better and you can branch out and start doing shows. Do you have anyone you can take with you to a show who could "do the talking"? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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