Fear of Success?

[RobinInOR]

I was having an interesting PM discussion on this topic, so I started googling for information. I found http://tinyurl.com/aejv9 which was quite interesting.

Made me stop and think. Do any of you feel something like this, a bit afraid that if you put in your full effort, you will succeed? What would be the consequences?

I've been going over my business plan, but just don't seem to be able to put it in gear, so to speak. Get out there and get that market organized, local wholesale set up, articles in the local paper, all that go-getter type of stuff. But what's stopping me?

Do you think you have a little bit of a fear of success?

[Trish]

You know...it's funny you ask that, because I do feel that but never really want to admit it.

I was told by a business woman I greatly respect and admire, that my business will be as big as I want it to be, OR as big as I ALLOW it to be.

Right now, it's fun. I enjoy it and I want to keep it that way. If I get many more wholesale accounts, I will "outgrow" my house. I've briefly looked into renting a warehouse to use for production/shipping, but then it becomes a REAL job. I like pouring when I want to, when my schedule allows, while the kids are playing...

I think about this all the time, so I'm off to check out the link you posted!

[Sara]

Nope. Not me at ALL.

You know, great article, Robin. And it is true, FOS (Fear Of Success) can encompass many things, you just can't always readily put your finger on it.

In pertaining to the business aspect, I often think that if I got too big, what would that mean as far as time? How much time do I *really* want to put into this? How much do I really want myself out there? Do I really want to have to face the thought of purchasing warehouse space or a storefront?

Interesting food for thought.

[Grumpy Girl]

That's an interesting article. If I apply that to my "Day Job" I can totally relate to it, and even accept it as the means to an end. I've been side stepping against a huge promotion for the last few years... and can't really tell you why.

Fear of the known sucks worse that fear of the unknown I guess.

[Candle Man]

My problem is not FOS. It's not being able to handle all the work in my retail store.

I have more work to do than I can produce but not enough steady customers to hire anyone.

[dai]

circumstances such as FOS are far more common than we probably imagine.

[islandgirl]

What scares me is growing to fast.

I want to keep it at a pace that I can somewhat control for the time being.

I don't want to get to the point that I can't keep up with the orders...

Someday, when I am able to hire people, and be able to rent a warehouse, and my children are older,

THEN I'll say.... Bring it on!!!!! I love a good challenge!!!

It does scare me though!! It might feel like work again.....

SO for now , I take it day by day.

When I decided to quit my job and work from home making candles, it scared the SH*t out of me... But I did it!!!

Success to me right now is the fact that I do this full time from home, make my own hours, make some money, and have the time to be with my kids 24/7!!!

[cozyaromas]

Robin, it's funny that you posted that article up, because the other day I got so many responses from taking a votive and pillar to work. That I felt unprepared and not ready for this huge step I am about to make. I realized that there was alot of stuff I need to get together in order for this to go smoothly. I was impressed but didn't think I was going to get such a positive reaction to something I made, even though I seriously hoped it would be this way. I totally agree with Trish when she said that you will only be big or successful as you allow it to be ...I think we all have a common goal to succeed it just how successfull or big do we really want to be, and that's what I'm trying to consider know.

This is a very good thread, I'm curious to see what others have to say or write...

[dai]

that's really really cool! i think it's great that you were able to say goodbye to working for someone else and be able to support yourself in what you're doing now.

you also bring up another topic which is equally dangerous - growing too fast as a company.

i'm successful like yourself in many ways - i get to spend 24/7 with my adorable children - but you and i differ because you make money and i just watch the Food Network...

[CallawayCandle]

This is an interesting topic. I have a FOS. But it is like Trish said. It's fun right now and I feel comfortable(I think). I don't like to put my self out there. Also, I have a full time job so I make my stuff at night. Know I could probably sell alot more stuff if I would get out there and push my product, but would I have time to get it all done? I also don't know if I could depend on this for income. There might be some months I make alot of money and others where I don't make so much. I've also thought about a website, but there again could I keep up? I hope I'm not rambling this is just a very interesting topic to me.

[LynnS]

OMG I have been feeling the same way.What if I get big? I really havent started into this but craft shows and not where alot happens but the people I know cannot believe how good my candles are and the price.And then you get a few at the craft shows that just walk away when you tell them the price.Cannot win.I haven't been out to give away FREE candles for people to try.Like wholesale, consignment etc.I have put it off like you.Wondering WHAT IF I succeed.I don't mean big bucks but fairly comfortable.I am someone who cannot say NO.So if it was a wholesale account(and one to many) I would be afraid to say NO.Afraid too if I do say NO to one I loose another account I already have and then have regrets.

Now working on a website.So What If it is fairly successful.I don't know much about shopping carts.DA!!!!!I know how to shop on internet but I am sure it isn't hard.Then I have to have a system to keeping things on file etc.

I have been approached by a newspaper writer.I will do that article but need to get website and my thoughts in place.I hear so many do good on-line and others not so good.I want to start slow and sure it will be that way.BUT you never know.

Glad this was posted because I had thought about it but was afraid to let it out and post.I didn't think some weren't doing so good yet.I thought everyone here did better than me.Especially when they go to show and sell out.WOW what is that.Never happened to me.

I am going to read these articles and understand myself better.I hope?Then off to do a few orders.Just got back from the supply place but only got one thing because a BIG sale next week and I will be going back.Want to get some stock IF I get website order/orders.Don't want to have to run off for supplies or order on-line because I don't have that.That is a big fear for me.Be out of something and have to take off or get it on-line and have to wait for shipping.

Thanks for making me realize I am not the only one.I already have alot going on in my life and keep busy so now these things may have to be put on hold and the candles I know WILL have to be PRIORITY.

LynnS

[Guest EMercier]

I don't have a fear of success, I have a fear of not having success. I've put too much time and effort into this and at times wonder if it will ever get there for me. Good news is that every year, I gain more exposure and do better shows with more money. That's a good sign, but for my ultimate goal, I'm still working on getting to that point. Good article, thanks for sharing.

[siberia]

Robin, this is my biggest Achilles heel. I battle the fear of success along with being a perfectionist on a daily basis. It can be really tough to deal with sometimes.

[Bev]

At this time, I work a full-time job at a law firm. Our family totally relies on my income from this job to make ends meet. In order to make my business truly succeed, it is going to take devoting a lot more of my time to it. At this stage in my life (still working full time, still raising a son, still paying a mortgage, etc.), I'm not certain I'm able to give my business everything I've got to make it succeed to the level I want it to. One day I hope to, but then what? I think I have more of a fear of NOT succeeding than I do of succeeding. It holds an unknown future. Right now I know I can always expect that paycheck every two weeks, that steady, reliable income. Will my business be able to provide income one day? Many business fail. Will mine?

I have learned one thing over the last year I have been selling my candles, and that is ... I HAVE A LOT TO LEARN YET!

Thanks for sharing the article, Robin. It was very thought provoking!

[DaisyFairy]

I go back and forth with this all the time! I know I have fears and at the same time I want to sell more. lol

I fear getting way to many order all at once... although that kinda happened this christmas season and I made through! woohoo! That helped my fear level somewhat, but I really want to control the pace, so I am not overwhelmed. This subject matter is definitely something I need to really step back and look at. thanks so much for sharing the article!

DaisyFairy

[chris77]

This is a big part of my problem. I posted the other day in the general candle forum about just wanting to give it all up. I'm still in the testing phase, however I do sell tarts to a lady. I take my tester candles in to work to test since I practically live there. A bunch of people now want to buy these when I'm done. Some people keep asking me if I have them figured out yet. I feel a lot of pressure now. I'm a severe perfectionist and this adds to my stress. I also worry...what if it tests great and then I sell it and they don't burn right. So I'll test the same candle/wick combo over and over out of fear of selling junk. I work 40+ hours at one job, 10+ at my part time job, my wife is pregnant, I'm trying to get the candles figured out....what happens if it takes off? I believe that God has led me to do candles and He has shown me how He can receive glory through the plans that He's laid in my heart for this business. And I know if I depend on Him and seek His guidance and will that this will all work out. I'm still scared of succeeding though. As I think about it, maybe it's because I'm looking at what I can and can't do instead of remembering that it's not about me, it's about what He can do. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. We have a big God. I guess instead of being scared of succeeding, instead of telling God how big my problem and fear is, tell my fear how big my God is!

Thank you Robin. I'm off to read the article....I feel so much better already!

[Marilyn]

Fear of success sure is a funny thing, I think I suffer a bit of that with my candles. But I know for sure I do with dieting. Now why would anyone be afraid of losing weight and looking nice and wearing nice clothes??!!!

[sockmonkey]

Interesting...I never really thought of fear of success--more like fear of no success.

I've got a retail store, and recently started selling lotions that I make from pre-made bases. I want to get out of gifty shop type merchandise and focus on just lotions and stuff. I sold a nice amount of lotions during Christmas and even sold more today (January is notoriously a slow month for me). I'm thrilled when people buy it and rave about it (knowing how ridiculously simple it was to do).

I want to go up another level or two and do wholesale and internet. I see other people doing it, and I question whether I could be successful at it. But then I think why wouldn't I? It seems like success is always for other people. It's hard to imagine that I could work hard enough to ever become the next Bath & Body Works. But, someone else did.

What's the difference between those people and all of us sitting around talking about doing stuff? It's just a matter of committing to it and getting off my lazy but to make things happen.

[Scented]

I don't know that I would say fear of success here so much as fear of no success, but also I don't know that I'm ready to say try for bigger times either.

[cindym]

After this last fall and holiday season, and also getting a huge account, that may franchise and loves my products, my biggest fear is not getting it done, and also finding someone to help, which has failed everytime I have tried it. Now is a slow time and I have taken on a part time job and sometimes feel it is too much, all I think about when I am at work is I could be testing this or doing that. It is finding the right balance that concerns me. I do think I have a little fear going on as well as I know I could take on a rep and fly and that really scares me.

[7Angela7]

I don't have a fear of success, but I couldn't handle it right now. I have a full-time job, take a class or 2 here & there, and am dealing with everyday life issues (like everyone) & have health problems. I know I wouldn't be able to handle too many orders, which is why I'm not really trying to go get business. Once I start to get healthier & deal with some issues, I'll be trying to be successful...but for now, I'm just chillen .

[Glowlite]

I never thought I would have fear of sucess. Last year my biggest fear was losing my company and not succeeding. This year I'm feeling like FOS is eating me alive. Here's one thing that is really bothering me. My retail store will be open in March and 2 local news channels will be there for the grand opening of my store and the 40 odd others that are in the mall. I am not looking forward to this at all.!!!! Although the coverage of my store is an awsome idea. I don't want to be on TV!!!!!!!. One of them wants to do a 3 minutine interview and product walk through. I feel like I'm gonna puke just thinking about it. All these what ifs keep popping into my head...what if I stutter what if what if what if!!!! What if that jerk boyfreind I had in high school see's me and decides to stop by and say Hi....Then I get arrested for kicking him in the balls and have to sell my store to pay bail.

So what if I tell them I don't want the cameras in my store. Will I still succeed?? Probably, but will I ever get this opprotuntiy again....probably not I know...I know I need to just suck it up and do it!

[islandgirl]

What if that jerk boyfriend I had in high school see's me and decides to stop by and say Hi....Then I get arrested for kicking him in the balls and have to sell my store to pay bail.

LMAO:laugh2: Here's another way to look at the situation:

Don't sell the store and pay his bail....

Use the news coverage to your advantage....

(send it to funniest home videos and win some money)

I am sure you will have millions of woman on your side saying...

That's the way to give that old BF what he deserves!!! :whip:

(wishing that they also had a second chance to kick the old BF)

They will then come running to you store to support you!!!

You will have women all over the world wanting to buy your product!!

Just another way of looking at it!!

Best of luck to you in your new adventure!!!

[LynnS]

Just about 2 hours after I answered this I was talking to my friend and she wants 250 favors for a auction.I didn't mention this post but did mention a couple days ago about soap I was making.So now I am looking for some ideas, molds etc.I have till March because she knows I need TIME.That is how I feel. I will have to let some things go and take time for success.(If that ever happens).

LynnS

[Flickering Dream]

I have been planning my business now for over two years and I can honestly say that I am not afraid of success, I am already successful (see...'What is success'). As I have been planning I have always kept my vision on being able to mass produce my product. To take as few steps as possible and produce a quality candle. Then it's easy...just do it over, and over, and over again! Infact I have already inquired about having the manufacturing of my candles out sourced, in the US of coarse!