Difficult Customers? Mini Vent

[TartAddict]

Okay, let me premise this by saying, "I don't sell yet". I've been doing candles and tarts for about two years and am still testing BUT, I thought I'd have an Open House and see how some my (well tested) products did and what scents were selling. It was a great turnout. Now, I have a neighbor (who I've done an amazing amount of nice things for), who is one of those people who will try to get something for free no matter what or who is selling to them. She showed up at my Open House (right when I was finished and closing up) with her three kids (two of whom screamed for 45 minutes...and I mean hysterically!). She ate an amazing amount of food (free dinner for her and her kids), and let her children run amuck eating all over my house. And it's partially my fault...I did not tell her her kids couldn't come. THEN she finally finishes up and comes to check out. And *surprise* she has no money with her. WHAT? Why in the world would you come to shop and purposely not bring money? I was nice about it (and honestly, I wanted them gone, they were seriously stressing me out, LOL). I told her she could write me a check the next day. This was a week ago...still no check. Now I will say again....I have been a good neighbor. We've helped them through some difficult times, she's received MANY free products from me, and I often watch her children so she can work (for FREE). She calls me yesterday and says, "I may have to give the tart warmer back". I asked if it wasn't working (it's a Levine's night light warmer and the bulbs are hard to get in). She says, "No, it's got a chip...on the inside". Okay, so it works fine, you can't see the miniscule chip unless you peek inside BUT she was hinting for a discount or for me to say, "Oh, just keep it". I offered to exchange it for her for a new one (but what's to keep her from finding something wrong with the new one?). I apologize for my mini-vent here, I'm just not sure what else to do. At this point, I'm keeping it purely professional, and I will offer a full refund (oh wait...she hasn't paid yet, LOL...and yes, I've learned my lesson). I'm very frustrated. How in the world do you deal with people like this?

Thanks for letting me let off some steam, I'm usually not such a "venter", LOL

D

[EmpressC]

Wow! That is some nerve of you neighbor!!

I am interested in other's suggestions on how to deal with people like that as well. I don't sell yet either, but I can foresee that sort of thing as a potential problem that I do not want to have to deal with. LOL!

I think I would just ask for the product back and not even offer a replacement. That is some nerve seeing as she didn't even pay for the product in the first place!!! I would also ask her when she plans to pay for the rest of the things she received. If she's a fair person, she should come up with the money right away. If not, then I just would not deal with her anymore unless it's on a cash/credit card basis.

Good luck on that one!

[debscent]

While it is difficult and sometimes unpleasant to deal with a neighbor or anyone who is that abrasive, here is my suggestion. Call her and say, you can return the warmer, I will deduct that from your total. I will be over to pick it up from you in 15 minutes. And your total is $____. See you in 15 minutes.

Now, if you get to her house and she has yet another excuse, explain to her that you are closing out your show tonight and need to keep accurate records and would appreciate full payment by tomorrow. It does not need to be that unpleasant of a conversation. IF you don't get paid--the days of you being "nice" need to end. You learned an expensive lesson.

People will continue to take advantage given the opportunity...don't present her with the opportunity.

Let us know how it works out.

[David Fields]

Did she used to live in Austin, TX? Had a neighbor do something similar years ago and never did pay. We moved and blew it off. Seriously, over the years we have learned to treat business as business. Never deal with friends, neighbors, aquaintances, family in anything but from a business perspective. An unfortunate large percentage will take advantage of you. A normal business would not let someone walk off with mdse without paying first. And, if they get upset, it's probably because they were going to rip you off anyway. Don't give discounts to the same group of people because you can never stop. They will always expect "special deals". Oh, and the same goes from accepting checks and credit cards (where you use the manual system). Ask for id. There is no reason for them to get angry.

[TartAddict]

Thank you guys. It is so frustrating to deal with this. I had an online store for two years (not candles) and occasionally had to deal with customers who were a bit abrasive, but nothing like this, and it always worked out fine. And you're right, I need to nip this in the bud, get my money, and be done with it or she'll continue to take advantage of me. I like to think that people are honest and fair (and most are), but there are a few bad apples out there that really make it hard. She emailed me this morning asking if she could get a tart warmer for her grandma. I've yet to email her back (although I'd like to say, "Are you freaking kidding?" LOL. I really appreciate your thoughts and insight.

Deirdre

[HeavenScentU]

I hate when people take advantage. The only way you are going to get paid is to go over their and take a replacement for the warmer. If she doesn't pay than you can tell her you have to file a theft charge with the police. That may seem harsh but when someone steals that isn't right. That should make her pay right away.

[PurpleHippie]

I am sorry this happened to you. It's never pleasant to deal with people like that but it's especially difficult when it is a friend or neighbor. You want to keep things on a friendly bases with neighbors because, well you live near them. You are going to see them almost every day and it's rough to be on the outs with a person living so close to you. However, you have learned a valuable lesson "Business is business." You are trying to make a profit and not giving your items away. She has taken advantage of you and it sounds like she will continue to do so if allowed. I would simple show up at her door and tell her I am there to pick up the warmer. Right then and there!!! I wouldn't give her any warning in advance that I am coming to her house. It may sound rude but I wouldn't give her another chance to have something "accidentally" happen to the merchandise. She hasn't paid you for it so she has nothing to lose. I would also tell her I have to get in touch with the manufacture and see what there policy is for a replacement and leave it like that. Personally, I wouldn't want her business in the future because she sounds like the type that you are always going to have some sort of hassle with. Either for payment or her using products then finding something wrong just to return it. I'd put her off whenever possible unless she shows up with cash in hand. She has alot of nerve asking for another warmer! That just proves that she is the type to keeping pushing it until someone won't tolerate her behavior any longer. I would tell her yes she can have another warmer( AFTER I picked up the one she hasn't paid for yet)but I have to put in my order by such and such date and I'll need your money in by _______dead line BEFORE I order. If I don't have the money I can't order it! No excuses tolerated! JMO and I hope that didn't sound too harsh! You sound like a good neighbor and it's ashamed that you were taken advantage of. Don't let that stop you from continuing to be a good neighbor to others:smiley2:

[TartAddict]

Again, thank you guys. I have definitely decided that she is NOT someone I want to do business with again (as far as her Grandma goes, I have no want to sell her a warmer...money in hand or not...I know how this family is). I agree with you, Purple...I am going to just "stop" by with the replacement warmer (but she's NOT getting it until I have money in hand). I have learned a valuable lesson. Business is business, and you're right, David, a normal business would not let you walk away with unpaid merchandise, there is no reason I should be different. I put ALOT of time and effort into this and I will not "give" my products away. Thanks guys, I appreciate you taking the time to help me out with this. It's sad that there are people like this out there.

[CSAS]

I know you know your neighbor, but maybe you don't. You invited her to your open house, right? Try and giver her the benefit of the doubt. And, don't be afraid to ask for the money. You can be nice and ask for what is yours. She will be the one feeling awkward.

Here's what I would do.

Take a replacement warmer over there, along with one for her grandma. Have the totals on a piece of paper.

1 total Without any warmers at all.

1 total With a new warmer.

1 total with the chipped warmer with a 10% discount.

1 total with both warmers.

Take them over and say to her that you have a replacement and the one for her Grandma and that you want to have her look at them and make sure they are perfect. Also, have her show you the damaged warmer. Once she does, let her know how much the total is with the 2 new warmers (and everything else) and if she could pay you now, that would be great. (Just stand there). You now have all 3 warmers in your hand. If she comes up with an excuse, put all 3 back in the bag, and say I'll be back on such and such a day, can you have the money then. If she says yes, your good until then, if she says no, say Ya know Barb (whatever her name is) if you don't have the money, you don't have to purchase something just because I had an open house. I didn't want you to feel like you had to buy something. See what she says and go from there.

Something along these lines. You are asking for the money and not letting her have any new warmers until you get it, but you're being a sweetheart.

Don't count her out yet, she may end up to be a customer that comes back time and time again. Next time she buys something, don't hand her the goods until she hands you the money. This way, if she says I forgot my money, you can say, I'll just set this to the side until you come back.

Good Luck

[Di_in_AZ]

I am so like you--I need assertive training. Just this very morning, I had to go in at work and ask a girl for $35 she owed me for candles and also for an order from her that I paid her for that never came and she had never refunded me. Both of these took place last September and I have paid the taxes on her sale and not had the money! It is sad and there are about five people I know so far I never sell to anymore. When they say they need to order, I find just say, "ok--catch up with me sometime" and walk away. I hate it.

[P&V]

In my unwritten job description, for the business my husband & I have, it says screen customers. If they don't seem like they will be worth the hassle, I refer them to someone else. If he does do a job & they turn out to be too difficult, we don't work with them again. You don't want to have to put your time & energy into a bad customer. You need it for the good ones.

Once a PITA, always. When you run a business you get 2 kinds of customers. The good and the bad. Your job is to keep the good ones, they pay and if they do complain it's a reasonable complaint that you can remedy. I would resolve this situation however I had to, keeping my good name and make sure that under no circumstances I was in this position again. Be nice but be honest. It's hard for someone to argue/bad mouth you because you said you can't afford to give her free products all the time (or whatever the case may be).

I'm sorry she's treated you this way when what she should be is humble and offering to do for you. Unfortunately, the world is full of all kinds. Feel better though it happens to everyone.

[SliverOfWax]

Seems like it's to late to "nip it in the bud." This bud has bloomed!

Your party was over. Why did you let her in?

As long as you continue what you've been doing, she will continue to take advantage of you. "No" is not that hard to say.

What's the worst thing that can happen? You lose a customer that doesn't payl

You're going to have to grow a spine, and quickly. If you never let this kind of situation start, you don't have the worries of how it will end.

[TartAddict]

Sliver...I totally agree. The situation was entirely my fault. I (a) should've told her I was done and closed (I had NO idea she was going to cause such chaos, and since she was a "friend", I didn't want any hard feelings...again, spineless, I know) and ( I have learned a valuable lesson...no money, no product. Yes, I should have held her product until I had cash in hand. This is a business, and I need to treat it as such. It was incredibly stupid (and naive) on my part, to give her the warmer without payment. At the time, I thought I was doing her a favor, in hindsight, I was enabling her to take advantage of me.

I'm stopping by her house this afternoon with no warning. I will have a replacement warmer, BUT until that check is in my hand.....she will not get it. Excuses or not, I want my money. If she doesn't have it, I'm going to ask for the warmer back. At this point, I don't really care if she gets upset.

I thank all of you for your opinions. I know I screwed up, I wasn't sure how to handle the situation, and I thank you for your advice. I usually don't post these kinds of "vents". I will not do business with her again. It's sad, but I work way to hard in all I do to have to deal with customers who will take advantage at any turn. A crappy lesson to have to learn, but I learned. Thank you for your honesty.

[TartAddict]

I stopped by yesterday with a replacement warmer. The chip was so miniscule, I didn't even see it. I replaced the warmer (AFTER getting my money...which I had to ask her for). I think she felt like a schmuck (I had to have her point out the chip). She mentioned AGAIN getting a warmer for her Grandma...my response: "It's $19.95 for the warmer, you can just add it on to your check and I'll bring the warmer by." Guess what....she didn't buy it, LOL. No big loss there. Anywho....lesson learned. Got my money. Thanks again to all of you for your candid opinions.

[Fire and Ice]

I'm very sorry you had to go through this but believe me when I say that you're not alone when similar situations have happened with many of us. I have (had) friends who thought nothing of asking for FREE candles or saying they pay if I gave product up front. Been there, done that and never will again because through the winter, the candles are my sole sorce of income! I even had people write bad checks on purpose so they could have candles for a holiday gift. And they KNEW they were writing a bad check too!

I lost a good friend who wanted to come into business with me and I said NO!! I work totally alone and Jesus is my silent partner!

Don't beat yourself up over this. Chalk it up to experience and know that you'll know better next time! We've all been there so you've not foolish nor anything else!

Fire

[ShellDT]

Hi Tart. I am glad that it worked out for you. I have been lucky that I have not had anything like that happen to me....knock on wood. I have had the actual opposite. I have two wonderful ladies that have been with me along for the ride so to speak. They are always testing things and they give great feedback. When I get new scents, they always give me a honest and welcome opinion. Last year, I made each of them a candle with their favorite scent for birthday gifts. Even though they were testers and had received free testing candles for a year, I had to almost beg them to take these gifts. Their attitude was that they in no way, shape or form did they expect anything for free. They were merely testing so I could have a variety of feedback. When it came down to it, they only agreed to take the gifts if they could also purchase another candle. I tried to get them to understand that the candles were birthday gifts and no purchase was expected, but they said that since they had received so many free candles when they tested, that they wanted to purchase something, even though I made it clear they were not expected to do such. I am also in the testing pahse still and only have a few purchasing customers, but these two wonderful ladies are my top customers. Michelle

[cbv1]

I haven't been in business long enough for this to happen to me yet, but I can see how a neighbor/friend could take advantage. I do have someone that asked me to send them some samples so they could consider putting in their store. I sent them a nice professional package and when I called them 1 month later to see how they liked my products, they were like, what products? I sent UPS and they were delivered but the owner said she was out of the store for several weeks and her employees just threw packages in a back room. Then she says, send me another package, instead of looking in the back room for it. I couldn't believe my ears, but I am new to the business end. I take such care in making my products I was offended she didn't think anything of asking for more. I am not a big business and I didn't know how to react to this. After I hung up the phone I figured, no way, I don't think I want to deal with a person who doesn't respect the businesses she deals with. I may give her another chance but if I do, I will hand deliver the package! Sheesh!!

Coleen

[cybersix]

I'm happy you got your money after all. Don't be too hard on yourself! I just realized that I've been very very lucky because I always do so!

My neighbour asks me to do candles for her, sometimes she shows up and asks for a couple, I make them and she always pay after(oh well paying should be normal!), maybe it helps that we aren't "friend".

I make my candles for friends so they can have gifts to give for christmas and usually they never pay me in advance. Oh yes this is luck. The next who wants a candle will have to pay in advance...

[P&V]

I'm glad all worked out well for you. I think you did a great job! Just remember with every experience (Did I spell that right, I'm tired.) is a lesson.

[TartAddict]

Ahh, thank you guys I really appreciate your kind words. And yes, every experience is an opportunity to learn. I'm sure there are others who could offer up mistakes they made when they first started selling (heck, we could probably have a huge thread on it!). So all you "new sellers"...money first, then product, no exceptions, LOL.