Please help! I'm desperate!!

[Gypsyjen]

And some people state things simply and clearly.

If you were referring to Top - well I think he's pretty self-aware. And gave reasonable advice - and wasn't trying to discourage you but to advise you to learn to walk before trying to run. No one told you to give up, simply to slow down and to reign in your expectations so you don't end up in a bind... to start small. Is that so bad?

I know it's good advice because I've struggled with candles. I'm trying again for the 4th time in as many years, but this time I know I won't be ready for Christmas. And I know it's good advice because I've found out the hard way that it's not necessarily a simple thing - making great candles. And I know Top DOES care because he's cared enough to help me.

I agree with CareBear...he wasn't being rude, just frank. He has also helped me a ton since I started this hobby. You need to have a thick skin to be a chandler. It's discouraging enough as it is.

[topofmurrayhill]

I don't know what the final outcome will be, but I'm fine with having Ashley decide after the holidays what I was being.

Years back I made attempts to design new things for particular occasions under time pressure. It was stressful and the results were never as good as what I envisioned. When I saw the thread subject and read about the status of the project and looked at the calendar, it gave me a feeling of deja vu about something I would never try to do again.

I can easily imagine the poster thinking about candle testing during Thanksgiving dinner and watching the weeks count down so fast while waiting for new supplies, thinking about single versus double wicking, testing large candles down to the bottom, and hoping to come through for her family and friends.

Maybe people who think they are all about other peoples' feelings shouldn't just skim over the word "desperate" like it doesn't mean anything. Only time will tell if the best HELP offering was suggesting wicking possibilities for apothecary jars or trying to lift a big weight off someone's shoulders.

[Meridith]

I always have found it interesting that when someone that doesn't know what they are doing asks for help and someone that does know what they are doing offers realistic, not sugar coated advice, that isn't what the OP wanted to hear and then the responder is told they aren't being helpful or are even told they are rude. Responses like those given about Top could have the effect of those that are experienced no longer offering advice. That's not good either.

I personally felt that Top was being more realistic than some of the responses that were given. Before you get your feelings hurt and feel like throwing in the towel over a response, take a step back and give the poster the benefit of the doubt that they weren't trying or meaning to hurt feelings or be rude; perhaps they DO know what they are talking about. Especially if that person has been around a long time. Some answers aren't so cut and dry and some answers may not be what you want to hear and some answers may different from the next person. We all have a different style and a different way of doing things but most of us wouldn't be here if we didn't want to help. And remember too, lots of stuff gets lost in translation and tones and personality can be difficult to convey through typed words. Just don't assume the answer you got was not helpful - especially when you don't know what you are doing.

Good luck with your candles and enjoy making them. It can be frustrating but it can be alot of fun. It just takes time and patience. If you stick with it, I'm confident you'll figure it out and make a great candle.

[Meridith]

I don't know what the final outcome will be, but I'm fine with having Ashley decide after the holidays what I was being.

Perfect response!!!

[deb426]

I didn't think Top was rude at all. I thought he gave a nice response and even posted about it. When I read the posters original questions, I was half expecting some of the members of the forum to really come down hard on her. I was appreciative that Top didn't do that.