CaliZona Posted July 8, 2007 Author Share Posted July 8, 2007 Margaret, you make me laugh! I did have them bigger, but I thought it was too much. Give me 5 minutes and I'll make them bigger. Sherri Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CaliZona Posted July 8, 2007 Author Share Posted July 8, 2007 Better? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scented Posted July 8, 2007 Share Posted July 8, 2007 Is this site off the ground yet, because I'm wondering if the changes are going to be made in time for your coupon discount ... OK here's my thought on the front page. I think the pictures are much, much better. I'd still like to see them bigger. Bigger, to me, grabs attention. I think, though, that the Welcome at the top gets lost now and really isn't needed is it? I wouldn't look forward to introducing your products ... a working website should mean you have these products now and you want people to feel an urgency to buy them. So I would change the intro at the top to be now and not future. Stuff that's coming in the future shouldn't take top seat to what you have now, so I woul drop it from the front to the coming soon page. And when/if you do, I would reword it too. Oh bosh, you've disabled right clicking lol So here goes, you won't need the first sentence on the coming soon page. So I might say something like ... Our fragrant, hand-poured soy candles, melts and tealights will start appearing ... (date here or rough time frame). Again, it's your choice, and I know I said I would hyphen high-quality, but I would just ditch that word high completely. Quality alone does not imply poor ingredients used. You could just swap the whole thing out for: we use fresh, luxurious oils and ingredients to pamper, soothe, romance, enchant (pick one not all of them lol) you. OrWe believe in prompt, courteous service. How we feel about our customers carries over into how we make our product. We use fresh, luxurious oils and ingredients to pamper and soothe your skin and enchant your senses.What am I thinking? I haven't even finished my website yet LOL! Anyway, just draw that reader in and then pop them with a WOW, which is your soap so that they will be anxious to click on your links and buy. So with that said, onto that grand opening ... This is an event you want them to see and to take advantage of right? Blow that font size up. In honor of our grand opening, our treat to you is a 10% discount coupon when you register for our monthly newsletter. Keep up with the latest sales, products and upcoming events at Sherri's Scents & Soys by signing up today. (Or some such). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scented Posted July 8, 2007 Share Posted July 8, 2007 You gotta let me right click LOL!OK I see the changes you've made and there's some stuff to tidy. So here goes on the About Our Soap section.Fresh, quality ingredients are used in each beautifully crafted bar ... (etc.)Move that sentence about ingredients appearing on each bar of soap like to the end. With it where it's at, it's a rough transition into the next sentence (it stops the romance of your words so to speak.)Each unique bar of soap is cured a minimum of six weeks before it is ready for sale. Either that, something else, or where you have Each cured bar of soap (decide if you want to use will or has).Most soap or most of Sherri's soaps contain distilled water, olive oil ... On castor oil ... contributes to a rich, stable lather. Coconut oil ... This light and penetrating oil helps to create a rich, creamy lather.Colorants ... We use skin-safe colorants, such as ultramarines ... etc.Distilled water ... We prefer to use distilled water because impurities such as minerals, heavy metals and chemicals have been removed.FO line ... might rework ... Our quality, skin-safe fragrances are used in (list your products.) Grapeseed Oil ... , after Beta-Carotene, and preserve moisture in the skin (not to the skin, unless you mean provide moisture for the skin.)Honey ... we use natural honey in our soap, such as ...On the powders ... need other words for moisturizing ... lot of that word used in that graph. Over use tends to make the reader think of a broken record and they may stop reading ... thus missing other information you feel is important to them. If it wasn't important, you wouldn't have it right?Oh and last sentence on powder stuff ... soft, creamy lather.Olive Oil ... reads awkward right off. It's missing something in that opening ... and if you keep the second sentence, long-lasting (though lasting would work just fine)Palm oil ... rich, creamy lather.The RBO one ... helps to soften and moisturize ... (unplural moisturize)Sunflower oil ... dry, damaged skin.SAO ... conditioning the skin. Promotes a clear, clean complexion. (Really?) Tussah silk ... strands. Adds a silky ... Goat's milk ingredients ... Our goat's milk base has a soft, creamy lather.Olive Oil ingredients ... Third sentence ... a light, pale yellow color may ... (you say it's attractive, but if someone else doesn't think so, then they may think you don't know what you're talking about and stay away from anything with that product.) Shea butter ... We add 5% ... (don't start sentences with numbers unless you spell them out.)Shea butter (instead of the added shea butter) produces a nice, moisturizing lather. (Axe the rest) till you get to Shea butter has ... And I know I keep using moisturizing ... so find other words to replace it lol)!OK that's my comb through on that page. Gotta get to pouring for now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scented Posted July 8, 2007 Share Posted July 8, 2007 Better?Yes and no lol ... It's starting to lose some sharpness ... soooooooooo ... how about cutting off the two end soaps and seeing if that still keeps things in order. I use this font on my labels lol ... I love it, except when it distorts a little. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scented Posted July 8, 2007 Share Posted July 8, 2007 On all those please notes ... Might go with Designer fragrances are "OUR VERSION" and may be similar to said fragrances.Question ... if they are marked type, why rename? Oh and no " after rename ... maybe rename isn't the word? Am I being confusing?I still love to stare at the beauty of your soaps, so I may be done tonight lol.OK I forced myself to click onward.I haven't clicked on everything (each soap), but got to designer fragrance spray ... Our version fragrance (that sentence is missing something). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dzeyez Posted July 8, 2007 Share Posted July 8, 2007 Very Nice!!! I love the way your soaps just jump out at ya!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Late Night Posted July 8, 2007 Share Posted July 8, 2007 Everyone else already covered what I would have mentioned and then some. I just wanted to add that your soaps are beautiful! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CaliZona Posted July 8, 2007 Author Share Posted July 8, 2007 Thank you very much!Sherri Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kelly Posted July 8, 2007 Share Posted July 8, 2007 Oh my goodness! Remind me to never ask Scented to look over my site! I don't want to know how bad my grammar is!!! Especially since my fiance is an English major graduate, he would be so disappointed in me! But WOW what a thorough website critique. Just wanted to say great critique Scented, but you should charge for all that work! Best I can do is critique based on functionality! That's all they taught us in college (Web Programming)... English is a different major! LOL. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beck180 Posted July 9, 2007 Share Posted July 9, 2007 I think this is a great site, simple yet classy and the photos look really nice. This looks like a place I could spend some money!Good job! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rae_g Posted July 10, 2007 Share Posted July 10, 2007 Wow, I'm over your soap pics! Good call moving them to the main page. They even drew me in, and it takes a lot to get me to look past the first page of any site. Good work, Scented! I'm hoping you'll be around to critique my website in a few weeks! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KCScentsations Posted July 11, 2007 Share Posted July 11, 2007 I think your website look good. And like everyone else, I love your soaps. With time, you will get it just like you want it. Keep working at it. I'm still everyday changing things. Scented, you are giving her some excellant feedback. I think we all need you to look at our websites. LOL Just kidding but I know she's very thankful for that. I love this board because it's alot of help here. Best of luck to you.LaKeshia Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
warmvanilla Posted July 11, 2007 Share Posted July 11, 2007 --Love your site!The pictures are amazing and look really professional.It's so easy to navigate, too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CaliZona Posted July 11, 2007 Author Share Posted July 11, 2007 I want to thank everyone who has given me such kind feedback or has helped me with my web site. I have been very fortune to have Scented helping me. Not very many people would go to the extent that she has for me. She has been most generous with her time and I thank her for that. I just hope that I have not scared her away, for those of you who might need her expertise too. I wish everyone the best of luck in all of your adventures. Sherri Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ring of Fire Posted July 11, 2007 Share Posted July 11, 2007 Your site is beautiful, your soap some of the best I have seen. You are lucky to have scented help you so much. She's a class act. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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