andrealh1975 Posted August 23, 2006 Share Posted August 23, 2006 Have any of you run into the problem of folks being jealous and "acting funny" because you don't have the time you used to because of your business? I'm dealing w/ someone like that now. I don't have time to sit and talk on the phone or hang out like I did before and instead of being happy for me because business is growing, she always has a smart ass comment. Well, yesterday was the last straw, I just sent her a nice/nasty e-mail letting her know how I felt about her. Guess she'll be leaving me alone now!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sudsnwicks Posted August 23, 2006 Share Posted August 23, 2006 Can't say I have. Most of my friends are super busy themselves, and usually don't have time for me! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KFTS Posted August 23, 2006 Share Posted August 23, 2006 She was a friend? If so, I think you handled this very poorly and kind of mean. I take it you don't want to be friends with her anymore from your "she'll leave me alone" comment and a nasty/nice (what the heck is nasty nice?) email is tacky. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
andrealh1975 Posted August 23, 2006 Author Share Posted August 23, 2006 She was a friend? If so, I think you handled this very poorly and kind of mean. I take it you don't want to be friends with her anymore from your "she'll leave me alone" comment and a nasty/nice (what the heck is nasty nice?) email is tacky.No, she's not a friend but rather an associate. In regards to the e-mail, I used the tactic of killing her with kindness. BUT, I also let her know that I wasn't going to stand for her "attacking" me every time I was busy doing something to benefit MY business. You think it's tacky that I had something to say back to her that wasn't so nice. I think it's tacky that someone who "acts" like they're happy you're doing well and always wishes you the best in your business suddenly is upset when you're busy because you're doing well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sudsnwicks Posted August 23, 2006 Share Posted August 23, 2006 She's jealous because you have a successful career and a successful business on the side. It's hard enough to have a successful career (or even to get a good job) let alone a biz on the side, so no wonder she's jealous. Other than dealing with her as tactfully as possible, I don't see what else you could do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NattyCat Posted August 24, 2006 Share Posted August 24, 2006 purely from another perspective, some people tend to "attack" when they're feeling left out or abandoned. If you were friends, or at least friendly associates, she may be feeling rejected and brushed off by you all of a sudden. The same thing can happen in relationships - how many times have you heard the complaint "we used to be best buddies, but since she's got her new boyfriend, she never has time for me and can't wait to get off the phone when I call her".I guess your candle business is your new boyfriend, and friendships, or even friendly associations could be suffering. Maybe she isn't jealous, and could just be feeling a bit miserable that you don't have time for her anymore. Perhaps the time you spent on here mentioning about her being jealous, and then replying to our replies on the subject, could have been spent having a friendly chat with her on the phone...seeing as you weren't too busy to post this thread? I think we're all a bit guilty of being totally insular when we're trying to get a successful candle business off the ground or any other important project for that matter, but I feel it would be wise of us to sit back and realise that in 50 years time, when we're no longer making candles and have happily retired, the only thing we have left is our friends and family - if you don't water the seed of friendship now, you won't enjoy the fruits of your labour in the future! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeavenScentU Posted August 24, 2006 Share Posted August 24, 2006 I have learned my lesson that working 24/7 doesn't work. You still have to have a life and have to learn how to balance it all. If making candles or soaps are consuming your life than I would step back and see why? I know people don't like to hear about my business because it sounds like I am bragging, so I don't talk about it unless they ask....Having friends or associates are great for marketing your candles and soaps!!!! Something to consider. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
andrealh1975 Posted August 24, 2006 Author Share Posted August 24, 2006 Ok...I think folks are misunderstanding what I'm saying...I never said that I've been "working 24/7" or that I have no time at all to hang out. I do know how to work BOTH my full time job AND run my candle business and still have time for family/friends. Any business owner who wants to be the least bit successful must make some sacrafices. And if that means going a few weeks without "hanging out" or going a few days without sitting and chit chatting on the phone, then that's what must be done. Having friends or associates are great for marketing your candles and soaps!!!! Something to consider.I totally agree that friends/family is one of the great ways to market a business. But, it's unfortunate that some people don't understand that when you own a business you have to work your butt off to get to where you want to be. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sudsnwicks Posted August 24, 2006 Share Posted August 24, 2006 But, it's unfortunate that some people don't understand that when you own a business you have to work your butt off to get to where you want to be.Look on the bright side. This is why most people are employees and not business owners. If more people were like you, you'd be unlucky to have even more competitors. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LynnS Posted August 24, 2006 Share Posted August 24, 2006 I don't work a full time job but do volunteer work that is just about equal to that.I also have the same problem as you.People wonder why they don't see me much and really one person I haven't seen or talked to in 12 years.Busy lives and now she wonders why I am not around.This summer had my granddaughter the whole summer, son moved back home, sister passed away,trying to get ready for craft shows(deciding what to make),Doing spay clinics and more.Granddaugther didn't seem like work but she needed alot of attention even at 11.When I was younger it was no problem raising 3 boys but the older you get the harder it is.People don't understand.I think you are doing good with all you do and sure it just may be your friend that is not really who you want to associate with.You mention family and friends help with candles,well not what I have seen. Not unless you give them away in my case.So why should I have time for them.My sister used to get really mad at my sister who passed away for buying candles and she plays bingo 4 nights a week.So there is her money gone.Wasted.To each their own IMO.A friend over and over wants my candles but doesn't want to buy them.Just goes on and on about them but never buys and her husband works 12 hours a day 7 days a week. She wants them for FREE.So IMO I haven't seen family or friends who help me so maybe my time is limited to just husband, kids and grandkids.It is getting that way. You do have alot on your plate with family and working full time and part time candle business.You are not the only one who might have to put friends aside.Believe me I bet there are more than we know who have done this.People are to busy now and when craft season comes I will be doing a show about every 2 weeks.Only signed up for 2 now but getting ready for another and also check the papers weekly for more.The problem is there are so many that some I want to do are the same week-end as others I would like to do.Last night was candle night and will be for the next month every day.I am farther behind than I was the last 4 years.So friends will not be hearing from me.I don't know if your friend rubbed you the wrong way but if I am someone's friend I am a true friend.BUT just one time and it be a bad vibe I am gone.I would be like you, nice but I will be out of there and I won't be back for more. I am sure there are things with your friend we don't know about. I truly know what you mean by jealous.Maybe your friend would like to do what you do but can't or won't.Off to work on candles I started last night but got busy and didn't trim wicks label and pack. LynnS Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michi Posted August 24, 2006 Share Posted August 24, 2006 I think what Andrea was saying, was that this person was being petty and acting out in a not so positive way-ok, if she's feeling left out/abandoned she could have approached Andrea in a more positive way, but alas, I've noticed over the years that most peeps seem to act out in more negative ways, which IMO just turns me off big time. Who has time in their lives (busy or not) for negative, spiteful people, whether they were considered friends or associates/aquaintences??Sounds like this wasn't just a one time thing, that this has been an ongoing problem for a while and that the proverbial "straw the broke the camels back" finally happened. ?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Late Night Posted August 24, 2006 Share Posted August 24, 2006 Some people stay stagnant and can't understand it when others grow. You either have to remain at her level or decide to continue to move forward. Sounds like you made the right choice for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.