Non-paying family member.....

[southernscents]

My sister in law has bought a few candles from me in the past. Not anything to brag about. They are really picky. I have never heard them (my mother in law included) speak highly of any candle, until recently and it wasn't me.

About 1-2 months ago my sister in law came to my home and picked out a candle and a few tarts. She told me she didn't have the money that day and would pay me later. Well, I never got paid. It was only $6.00, but still that's beside the point. Since then she has not even mentioned the candles or looked at them when she is at my house. Might be because she owes me and thinks I have forgotten, hmmm....don't think so.:rolleyes2

We were at a bday party yesterday at another family members home and when I walked in this other family member (cousin) made a point to show her sister the candle that my mother in law purchased for her at the local pharmacy (soy by the way). I do not make those. This family member (cousin) also had a different brand of candle burning.

Is there a reason that my husband's family chooses not to buy from me. I started thinking maybe my candles aren't good enough. Maybe I should do something different, but then I remembered how many repeat customers I have, a fundraiser next month, and a $250.00 order from one person this month.

So what is up with these people? Is it me or my candles, lol. I should probably not take this so personal as they are inlaws.

[kuepie]

Hi, I sort of had that same problem too. My husband and I went to his nephew's graduation party in June, and I brought a case of jelly jar candles to sell. I sold all but one. Most everyone raved about how good they smelled. The ones that had had experience with them bragged them to the ones that had not. Everything was pretty good. I'm a pretty straightforward person, and don't usually keep my mouth shut (sometimes that is not a good thing), but in this instance my husbands neice got one candle, and before the end of the night I had to go ask her for the money. Not something I like to do, but will. I mean you can't go anywhere and say, hey I don't have the money right now, but........ bull, anyway she paid me and even had 30 pennies as part of the payment. She was aplogizing about the pennies, and I told her it was okay, they all spend.

[ebcandles]

I hear you. My inlaws are the same way. They dont buy from me because my sis in law sells home interiors. I have 8 brothers and sisters in law and none of them buy. I make it a point to give gift baskets of my products to their kids for every occasion:cheesy2:

Its a horrible feeling when they come over and look at all my stuff and say oooh and ahhh but never buy. There was one instance where a niece wanted my best selling soy lotion and her mother didnt want to buy it for her because home interiors apparently started selling lotion and she had just paid $10.00 for a lotion from her sister. At the end of the night, I ended up giving her that lotion because I knew she wanted it that bad.

I dont sweat the small stuff anymore (his family) because I know there are other people out there that appreciate a great quality product and are willing to pay the price for it.

[southernscents]

I guess I have gotten to the point that I don't want my DH husband's family to buy from me because they are never satisfied with anything they get. You can ask them about something they have tried and its okay. Never great or I will never buy it again, everything is okay. My sister in law will sometimes ask how I did selling candles if she knows I made deliveries or a big sale and I always tell all. I like it when we do a show and I do real well and I make sure or DH does to tell how much we sold . My DH is very supportive he is not like them at all.

They are also the Home Interiors buyers. That is a pretty popular name in this area. I do not mention the candles to them unless they ask. Although I do sell at the daycare where sister in law works and I am scheduled to go there today. She will not come to the car, she will act like shes too busy.

I will agree with you ebcandles about other people willing to buy our products.

Thanks.....Amy

[Crafty1]

goosh! sorry to hear about the things you guys go through with folks you feel would be the most supportive. i have problems with so-called friends moreso than family. i have friends who buys at Bath and you know who all the time and have no problems with paying 10.00 for a 4 oz bottle of lotion, but complains about paying that much to me for a 8 oz bottle of lotion. so i have come to the conclusion that what one will not do another one will.

Keep your heads up ladies, it is obvious we all are well on our way.

[Sherl]

My Mother-in-laws sister is a candle nut.. she buys from the dollar store all kinds of cheapies. Then she gives me dirty jars and expects me to refill them. I have explained that I do not fill any jar that I do not sell, and I am not in the jar cleaning business. So, I get the dollar store candles stuffed under my nose and I'm told how good they smell. I finally made my point yesterday when I told her I could not smell anything, but then I was used to the way my candles smell. Then I let her know how busy I am doing shows and selling to others.. hopefull that will get her mouth shut for a while. She wants something for nothing and I'm not in business for that. The Dollar Store can have her.

[deputy6512]

I went through this awhile back with my co-workers. They all bought from me at first, and the majority still do, but a few ladies decided to by from somewhere else AND burn them at work. I was really upset at first, but after telling my story on this board, everyones responses helped me realize that everyone has a preference, and the preference just may not be me! My family hasn't been so much a problem with paying, as for burning. I gave my stepmother some candles to test burn, explained to her the procedure and what she needed to be looking for. About a week later I went to dads house and the candles were still sitting there, untouched. I asked her when she was going to burn them and she said probably never because they were just to pretty!!! So, I had to make another batch of all three scents to test. Oh well. I guess we will just keep trying and hopefully make it big someday!

[sudsnwicks]

It's not you or your candles - some people just think store bought products are better (higher standards and quality, more professional, done by experts, etc) than handmade. And if your business is home based, some people won't take you as seriously compared with if you had a retail store.

[prairieannie]

I give little stuff away to family all the time...4oz lotion, small body spray, smaller candles, and it has turned into a very profitable venture for me...because they turn around and buy buy buy! If it were me, and someone wanted something that amounted to 6 bucks and they were family, I'd give it to them. No questions asked. I'm not rich, and I can't afford to give away all that I make, but I've cushioned myself enough so that a few samples out there can take along with them my business name, and quality! I would do this even if my in laws were spiteful I guess, because well...I have customers that are worse hehe, it's good practice!

There are always going to be people who just plain don't care for your candles..and you need to be okay with that before your business grows, or you will spend all of your time nursing your hurt feelings, instead of trying to improve yourself. These are just things that I think are important to learn sooner rather than later. Pick yourself up, dig in your heels, and take control of your business like your inlaws don't matter...because the truth is, they just don't. (as far as your business is concerned anyways) And just a helpful bit of info...I'd forget about that 6 bucks your SIL owes you...seriously. It's hurting you far more than it's hurting her to hang on to that...

[sharyl55]

You just can't please everyone. My family is over 1000 miles away so I don't sell to them. I do give them candles as gifts for all appropiate occaions. I have 1 neighbor how loves everything I make and buys and a 2nd who prefers Yankee. After giving her several freebies to test I've given up on her as a potential customer. I know I'm still in the learning process and each batch is better than the last. But no way am I going to compete with Dollar Store prices or the Yankee mystic.

[Guest EMercier]

Well, I must say I have that problem with my BF sister. She loves candles, but will not buy from me. He only buys from me. She will buy other stuff (that doesn't smell as good) and put it all around their house. He puts mine back up. She would say how she would buy them, but never did. I never cared much for her. She's treated me bad since we've met. Something my BR doesn't get becauseo nly women notice things like that. ANYWAY. she wanted to learn to make candles and I looked at her and wanted to laugh because she didn't think about it until I started to do it. Also, because I make good money at it, she wants to do it. I used to do the candles at their hosue and her friends would come in and say, OH it smells so good in here and wanted to buy from me, but I know she stopped it. I don't like when people act like that. I don't care either. I'm secure in myself and my hobby and I'm more successful that she will ever be. She's envious. When she came to my house everything I have she wants, but barely speaks. OH WELL, I was raised better.

[southernscents]

I appreciate all of the positive comments. I have not mentioned the $6.00 to SIL, but I think she does not want to buy from because shes afraid I will mention it. She is always complaining that they are broke. My husband says this is not true. He says she is tight, but anyway.

I have a great product and I know it and my customers appreciate it. I have several faithful customers that only buy from me (or so they say ). I guess I just felt like my MIL should have bought from me. My mother will not ever buy a candle from anyone but me now. She gives them to anyone she needs a gift for. I usually make her a gift bag full of mixed candle items.

I feel better now that I have read all of your posts. This site is great. I have no brothers or sisters, so I have to come here to get support and vent, lol.

Thanks again.

[ebcandles]

I feel better now that I have read all of your posts. This site is great. I have no brothers or sisters, so I have to come here to get support and vent, lol.

Thanks again.

Thats what we are here for. One BIG happy family supporting one another.

[Crafty1]

Thats what we are here for. One BIG happy family supporting one another.

i agree. we all are here to help one another out in a time of need. has anyone ever sat and thought to themselves how much help others are here on the message board. i mean it seems as though i get more help from people i have never laid eyes on. that is so amazing to me. anyway i am just babbling.

[deputy6512]

I feel the same way about this place! If ever I need candle help, or just to vent, I can do it here and know that someone will jump in and give me advice or lift my spirits! It is weird how someone you have never met before can do so much for you!