Trappeur, I believe you are correct in feeling like they should have asked before they made the assumption that you would be okay with everything they did. We are FBA Amazon sellers, and we sometimes private label products. We ALWAYS ask permission from the manufacturer, and have them provide us with their requirements for allowing us to slap our name on the item. Generally there is no issue, because the manufacturer simply wants to sell more of their product.
In your case, it seems like the buyer is trying to remove any trace of your existence. And from what Candybee posted, it would appear that they can merely state that they are the *Distributor*, and that's why their name and info is on the candle. If they are going to be regular customers you may want to discuss your concerns with them. And it sounds like they are new, so they may not know the proper way to re-brand. And if that's the case, you would actually be helping them by pointing out the things they are doing that are a little sketchy.